Leaving one place and going to another where you make your home and start over is placing oneself into the void again. An effort so simple, we’ve all done it when we are tired of being in a place we’ve been for too long. To be in two places at the same time, one place you are used to staying and the other, a place you wish to be. To reinvent yourself, to start over, to experiment with the unknown, this is inevitable. The internet allows me to do this but to do this, one must not know the other. One must never cross paths with the other and one must not speak of the other to anyone. One side must only speak of itself, and the other side must not even know the other exists. Sometimes it’s the only way to be free, without judging from people you already know.. It’s like saying good-bye and still remaining in the same place. Everyone sees you and you are there, talking to them. They talk to you in social media, they listen to your music but you are also somewhere else, doing something new. Like a double agent, finding yourself without distraction. The vacation that never ends, because who you knew in your other existence, you don’t know them here. The clouding of emotional baggage led to this conclusion and the heart must be completely free. Creatively I have an outlet and in this mode I am not able to freely and wholly express that outlet. Reboot, refresh and start anew…
It is the only way – start over = break-free.
Each side will be segregated, each side must not know of the other.
And no one will know the other side, except those who find that side.
In this day and hour we live, it’s really hard to believe that such a thing exists. A committed friendship, a real friend is something that is rarer than currency these days, and that’s pretty sad. Personally I ‘think’ I might have friends but in reality, they are all acquaintances. I haven’t had a true friend in my entire life. As right when I feel they are true, they either prove me wrong or we part ways in some manner. It happens every single time. I can’t exactly blame myself because I’m simply be real and holding to the friendship the best I can. But people are sadly like shallow puddles, finding someone who believes in loyalty isn’t just hard these days, it’s nearly impossible.
The proof of such a thing can be found only in the personalities that people show on the outside. For the most part society has pushed people inside their shells, they were hurt also. So many people refuse to love, trust, share and get to know you that we’re all like secluded strangers living around each other, even in real life it’s very cold. For the most part, I trust my family, I trust my dog, but for many others, I don’t really trust anyone. This comes from years of being disappointed and no matter how much I try to trust someone, they always let me down, who knows, maybe I let them down as well. Here’s to a life of solitude continuing. Happy New Year 2018.
There comes a time when we make a decision to do something and walk away with no regrets. The internet is full of groups, especially on FB. 1000s of people running groups and no one really puts forth the effort to be a team player in those groups. I would say it this way, solo projects are where I should be placing my energy instead of this hope to bring people together. They are too distracted, too drawn to their lives. I can’t make myself believe it will get better. I start something, then I finish it but there aren’t a lot of finishers in this world. There aren’t a lot of leaders, but there are a lot of followers. But the follower must also be the leader.
Then you have the lazy, who don’t want to help even themselves, even when you put the food down for them to eat. That’s harsh, well I’m blunt and I kind of have a right at this time. A little bitter, yeah but that’s my way when it comes to hoping I can keep something going. I have tried to do this thing and that thing since 2014, but phones and mobile devices have thinned out the purest of people. It’s like everyone suddenly has ADD and no one is really paying attention. Our world is so wrapped up in itself that I don’t know how people have any time to think.
So opening yet another group on FB probably didn’t do too much, at least I tried. If you’re good doing something alone, do it well, that’s your joy. It’s not that I don’t want to help or form projects, it’s that people in general don’t commit to them. I think I’ve said enough on this subject, until next time. At least I got it out of me, since this is my place of thinking.
2018 poses as a busy year for me musically, projects are listed below. Some of these projects and ideas will be set into motion around Jan / Feb, once I release the new album.
Finish new album, started 2017, 8 songs completed 4 more to go.
Begin work on ‘The Scheme of Things’ (Further into the Stratosphere)
CRT will be part of next years new album as well, would like to start it around summer
Plans to release my 18 year anthology will come between now and most of 2018. The album is called Almark: Transitions 2000 – 2018
I have collabs and work for Quiet Pill Records to consider as well.
There will be other snippets and things going on including some videos I’ve been working on. I’m looking forward to it. Here’s to 2018!
‘Just let them bloom any which way they are to become. It’s no use trying to figure them out, let them show you who they are.’
Music that has been made from 2000 onward will be in this album. Hand picked from the best quality, starting at the top of songs like Sodium Pentothal – 2001 and Genuine Article – 2000. One song from each album, single, year, etc. There will even be songs no one has heard from 2006. These progressions or transitions are how the music became what it is today. I had it in mind years ago to one day release such an album, 2018 is certainly that year. It isn’t always possible to create an anthology but the timing was right and I’m confident in it. It’s not only a great feeling to have the material to do it, but it builds up my love to do it more. As much more music will be written after this collection of works from 2000 – 2018. It will definitely be over 18 songs and go to CD. More info on this later.
“Especially during this time of the year.” 12.13.2017